Nov 11 2006
Negotiating Tactics of the 6 Year Old
If you had told me that I’d learn the best negotiating tactics from a 6 year old I never would have believed it. But here I am. Everyday. Negotiating. With my daughter. Over stuff that she wants that doesn’t really provide a benefit to me except that giving in to her request ends the standoff.
These are the lessons that Ekrina has taught me about negotiatons.
1. AIM HIGH - Ekrina’s example - if mom says I can have one candy I’ll ask for ten. the result is usually somewhere in the middle.
2. MAKE THE REQUEST SEEM RATIONAL - Ekrina’s example - i got three O’s on my report card this means i should get 2 special rewards because 2 is one less than 3. (you might be thinking why didn’t she ask for 3 rewards to go with the 3 O’s but to be honest this was the extra reward she was requesting after what we had already decided on!)
3. IF THE FIRST EXPLANATION DOESN’T WORK, KEEP PROPOSING NEW ONES UNTIL YOU SELL THE IDEA - example - Ekrina came up with three bad reasons why she should be able to have a piece of halloween candy which i managed to shoot down and then came up with a fourth that was pretty damn good. funny girl.
4. NEVER BE AFRAID TO ASK - example - if we go to a restaurant, she asks the waitress for chocolate milk before mom can declare that the particular restaurant we have landed at is experiencing a severe shortage of said beverage.
5. NEVER GIVE UP - do you really need an example? really this is just persevering until the person you ask is so worn down that they can’t help but give in.
And for all the parents out there, yes I know that negotiating with your child is a bad idea and that giving in is an even worse one. I think there is a fine line that we all have to walk between encouraging our children to express themselves and go after the things they want in life and actually just crossing over into the letting them run all over you category. In regards to Ekrina’s negotiating I have a pretty straightforward outlook - hey that’s a great trait for you to have in life, keep it up, but you better watch how much you try to use it on your parents. I’ll probably have to wait a few more years to find out how this pans out. 